Motivation For the Down Times in Our Marriage – Part One

My grandmother always tell me that marriage is an Institution that no one can ever graduate from. You have to motivate yourself to keep with all the down-times of marriage.

We make a lot of vows (both implicit and explicit) during the time of marriage (traditional and white) to respect and love our partner but, to quickly discover that those euphoria that comes with newly found 'love' disappears as soon as the reality of having to live with one person throughout our life enduring the persons' pitfall and bad-mannerism.

My father has lived with my mother for over35yrs, but when you see them discussing and cracking some jokes, you will think they are just friends that suddenly met each other after losing contact for a very time. Knowing fully well that marriage is not as sweet as it sounds. This I know through the stories I hear from people around me who are married. I decided to interview my father concerning his happy marriage. The rest of this article will summarise his simple but powerful technique that has kept his marriage for so long without any serious problem.

(1) Use of power of minds' eyes: "heard melodies are sweet, but unheard melodies are sweeter" is one of his favorite quotes. "I always have her; young, charming and beautiful picture in my minds' eyes, and this always distracts me from the reality that she sometimes misbehaves" He said that instead of feeling embittered about my mothers act, he simply remember how beautiful she was when he was wooing her. This according to him, not only keep him from reacting negatively to some of her misdeeds but, also help him love her the more (the young, charming, beautiful, sweet-sixteen). Yes! she really is. lol

(2) Using the power of give and take: He told me that you can never get what you have not given. Even Though he warned me not to let my mother know of this, I am going to say it in this article, let her hear it. He said "I pretend to love her so much at times (even while doing the wrong thing) that it will get to a point that she will start feeling guilty and will want to do all she can just to reciprocate the 'assumed love' I shower on her.

My mind quickly recalled an article I read about a man who wanted to divorce his wife because she is a: bad, nagging, wicked and uncaring wife.

He sought the advice of a psychologist because he did not just want to divorce the but, he also wanted to see her suffer in pain after divorcing her. What his psychologist friend told him was to treat his wife like a Queen for a certain period of time and then come back for them to draw up the plan for divorce. After the agreed time had elapsed, the psychologist now called his friend to remind him of there deal.

You probably guessed right concerning his reaction. The man in question scolded at his friend asking if he has gone out of his senses for asking him to divorce his 'QUEEN'. He simply treated the wife like a queen and she acted like one.

Another way of being motivated in marriage amidst all odds is to make love the basis of your union. "… love suffereth all things ..


Source by Chinweike Okwuduche

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